


so she danced alone

by potato_writes



Series: a series of imperceptible shifts [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/M, brienne: I reject your opinions about my relationship with jaime bc they're WRONG, me: great great can you be more clear about it next time please, the saga of wtf-ery continues from Brienne's pov, this continues to make absolutely no sense whatsoever, vague sci-fi elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27583414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potato_writes/pseuds/potato_writes
Summary: She hadn't realized it would be so hard, to be the one left behind.or, brienne tries to cope with jaime's banishment.
Relationships: Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Series: a series of imperceptible shifts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012446
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	so she danced alone

**Author's Note:**

> part of me really wants to blame my illness for this, but that's going away (thank god) and I started this series before I got sick so I really have no excuse at all. this story will wrap up in two more parts, both from Brienne's pov, and after that I AM done. really. stop doubting me.
> 
> title from ghost quartet once again. this really should surprise no one at this point.

She hadn’t realized it would be so hard, to be the one left behind.

He didn’t leave her by choice, she knows. She was there, after all, standing at the judges’ backs and pretending she had no interest in the result of a trial already unfairly balanced against him. She was there the night before they took him away, when she crept down to his cell and he held her hands in his as he pleaded with her, begged her to stay away, to not risk her life for his own.

And she couldn’t refuse, because she swore an oath to a dead woman, and another to the man she loves, and while she wanted to fight the verdict, still does every day she looks to the side and he is gone, she cannot help him if she is dead, nor can she protect the young women she swore to protect so long ago.

But it hurts, _oh_ , how it hurts. They were so _good_ together, in the brief time they fought side by side, back to back. To be torn apart right as they realized the truth of how they felt…she has yet to feel more pain.

And the others, the judges and the jury, they don’t know. They come to her with gentle eyes and well-meaning smiles, telling her _it’s alright, you’re safe, he can’t hurt you anymore,_ and she wants to scream, to yell at the sky and the sea and everyone who tries to comfort her _no, no, you don’t understand, he never hurt me, he never could, he_ loves _me, I love him…_

They will not listen, though. They never do.

They did not listen when he knelt before them and confessed the truth he had only told her before, of a tyrant with fire in his eyes and a yearning to burn the world down, did not listen when his brother half-heartedly asked he be spared, did not listen when the people of the west of their world turned their back and told the young rulers they refused to bow to any who would do this. They wouldn’t have heeded her, either, would have called it the skillful manipulations of a man who preferred a good fight to any sort of politics or mind games. 

Perhaps she just knows him too well, but none of their false reassurances will ever convince her this is anything but _wrong_. They have torn her heart in two and given her nothing but empty words in return, forced him to claim he abused and manipulated her so that she did not get dragged into ruination with him—and she would have come willingly, and he must have known, or he would not have lied so passionately—pretended they know how to rule this world that is in the process of fracturing around them. And still, they call themselves righteous, claim to be the bringers of justice and peace and honour.

She might have believed that once, but no longer.

Now, she has known the worst of her world, and the best as well, has known cruelty and taunts and friendship and care and love in equal measure. She has seen a man she thought a monster turn human, and has watched the man she loves be judged a monster by people who have never met him and do not _know_.

Her belief in their honour broke the day they judged him guilty without ever hearing his side of things, and nothing they say or do, whether it be false or real, will be enough to persuade her otherwise now.

They might call her a fool, if they knew she loved a man they would call monster. And maybe she is, for defending him so stringently time and time again, even though no one but herself can hear. But he would do the same for her, _did_ do the same for her at the cost of his own freedom, and she will not sit by and let his name be slandered, not when it would mean betraying everything she thought she stood for and everything she still does.

Not when it would mean breaking her oath to the man she calls husband.

**Author's Note:**

> in the future it would be great if brienne could tell me these things beforehand. I thought jaime would be the worst about sticking to the outline, but NO.


End file.
